- Have fun, nurture your passion and enthusiasm. I know that life is not always fun but we can lighten up a bit, laugh and learn to enjoy the process of change. We can even find acceptance for our negativity, our resistance and use these feelings to move forward anyway. I have received support lately to help me move from resistance and lethargy to fun filled action learning about social media. Rachel Moore and Ame Stanko are my heroines. They both agree on a saying that says, “the (fill in the blank with the activity) that isn’t fun, won’t get done.”
- Use relationships to help support you and help you with accountability. Ellen and the children are not alone. They have had support from many to be where they are today. And, it is the relationship between Ellen and children that create a synergy that we can all enjoy. We all need assistance and encouragement at times to help us move forward. Michelle Obama says, “My friends made me whole, as they always have and always will. They gave me a lift anytime I felt down or frustrated…” Being with friends, family, or therapists who can listen, support, inspire, and share our space as we explore ourselves and our ideas for change is essential. Notice in your life how much you will show up for a friend. Will you show up for yourself equally?
- Renew that freshness of youth, of being present in the moment. “This very moment is the perfect teacher, and, lucky for us, it’s with us wherever we are.” Pema Chodron. Whatever that moment IS, is all that you have. Notice the moments with Ellen and the children – spontaneous, funny, engaging, some without a common language. How do you want to feel, what do you want to be thinking about? What do you want to be doing? This is the only moment you have to make those decisions. Your empowerment is in that moment to make your choice. It is the moment that we can go beyond our habits, and conditioning, when we think we don’t feel like it, etc. etc. Whatever our thoughts, emotions, and sensations are telling us, there is a deeper knowing that can override our habitual way of being. It might take effort – until it doesn’t.
- Create a new habit by starting slowly. Michelle Obama said, “Life was teaching me that progress and change happen slowly.” When we are trying to change our habitual way of doing things, it is helpful to start slowly and build up. Even if you set aside 5 minutes a day for Activity X, it is achievable. Then increase the frequency and the habit is more likely to stick over time.
- Relaxation. Like the boy in the video, who talks about sitting under a haystack with a straw in his mouth, we need to learn to relax. It is as important as eating well, exercising and sleeping well. Ultimately, we have to create these well-being times for ourselves.
What stops us and how can we move forward in spite of ourselves? What slows us down is going up against our habitual programming, family and cultural conditioning, fear and other ways that we have uploaded information into our system. When we want to change, frequently we butt up against resistance to this change. It is a natural process that we can override by doing some of the suggestions above. For each idea you have, note in your planner the day and time you will do this. It really helps with the follow through! Above all, keep going with a spoonful of perseverance, patience and self-compassion.
“New Year’s Resolutions” aren’t just about setting intentions and goals. They are about re-examining what is really important to you intrinsically, and setting your direction on integrating who you are with what you want to do. Integrating your ‘being’ and ‘doing’, the practical with the aesthetic, the balance of physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. And, as Michelle Obama reminds us, “The journey doesn’t end.” The pay off is you feel better about yourself and you can make a difference in the world from a deeper place. If you need extra help, please don’t hesitate to contact me. Supporting you to empower yourself…